


Will these hands never be clean (Here's the smell of blood still)

by Thejoysofcreativity



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, hurt comfort, nightmare fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:28:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29916213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thejoysofcreativity/pseuds/Thejoysofcreativity
Summary: (Title taken with artistic license from Macbeth)-Demetri knows they don’t talk about it, but there’s a lot that affects them deeply.Demetri supposes they should have, when Eli turns over and thrashes around in bed.
Relationships: Demetri/Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Will these hands never be clean (Here's the smell of blood still)

**Author's Note:**

> This can be read as a sequel to my fic These Violent Delights (Have Violent Ends) but it's not necessary to read this one.

Demetri’s sure that Eli has to be a lot less stoic about everything than he pretends to be. Sure, there’s the occasional breaking point where one of them sobs and has to hold the other, but Eli never talks about  _ how _ exactly his trauma is affecting him.

It’s not like they both haven’t been traumatised most of their lives. Even before Cobra Kai came along, they were being bullied  _ all _ the time. Demetri knows they don’t talk about it, but there’s a lot that affects them deeply.

Demetri supposes they should have, when Eli turns over and thrashes around in bed.

It’s not unlike either of them to have nightmares, but Eli hasn’t had any since before all the karate bullshit. (Demetri has, obviously. It’s mortifying that his brain won’t stop being afraid.)

Eli lets out a cry and Demetri realises all too late that Eli is trying to hold himself back.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what Eli might be seeing.

“Dem.. Dem…” Eli whimpers desperately. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.  _ I’m sorry.” _

Demetri takes a chance and reaches over, holding Eli’s hands together and pressing them against his chest. 

“Hey,  _ hey,” _ he whispers gently. “You’re okay, it’s just a nightmare.”

Eli, ever the deep sleeper, doesn’t open his eyes. He keeps thrashing, tears running down his cheeks. “Dem,” he begs. “I’m so sorry.”

“Eli,” Demetri repeats. “Wake up. It’s okay.” He repeats himself again, louder this time. “Wake up!”

Eli’s eyes fly open and he starts back. Eli practically throws himself out of the bed and nearly falls on the floor.

“Stay away!” He shouts. “I’m only gonna hurt you, stay away from me.”

“Eli-” Demetri begins gently, leaning forward.

“No!” Eli pushes out with a hand, face terrified.

Demetri doesn’t know what to do. He wants to hold Eli, and reassure him. But he also knows that if Eli doesn’t want to be touched, he should respect that.

“Eli, it’s okay,” Demetri says softly.

Eli looks down at his hands and rushes out the door.

Demetri quickly gets up and follows.

Eli slams the bathroom door behind him, and Demetri waits an appropriate amount of time before knocking on the door.

“Eli? You okay?” He asks concernedly.

He hears nothing except ragged breathing and the sink.

“Eli? I’m gonna count to ten, and if you don’t say anything, I’m coming in. So, uh, I guess make yourself decent?” Demetri mutters.

Demetri counts to ten aloud, and turns the doorknob.

It’s unlocked, and that’s promising. When Demetri opens the door, his heart twists.

Eli is almost-manically washing his hands, over and over again. He keeps putting soap on them, like there’s a stain he can’t get off.

“Eli…” Demetri slowly walks up behind his boyfriend, placing a hand on his waist.

“There’s so much blood- I can’t get it off- I can’t-” Eli stammers, 

Demetri reaches over and turns off the tap. “There’s nothing there, darling.” He places a hand over Eli’s and with the other grabs the towel. “There’s nothing there.”

He gently dries Eli’s hands, and Eli doesn’t take his eyes off Demetri the entire time.

His boyfriend’s eyes are almost hollow, not quite devoid of emotion, but still numb.

Demetri sets the towel down and places his hand on Eli’s cheek.

Eli breaks. 

“I’m sorry,” he sobs. “I’m so sorry!”

“Hey.” Demetri pulls Eli in for a hug, wrapping his arms around him. “You’re okay. I’m okay.”

“We were on the mat.” Eli’s voice is muffled in his shoulder. “I couldn’t stop punching, and it was you, not Brucks, and you were bleeding and I couldn’t  _ stop. _ There was so much  _ blood _ and I couldn’t  _ stop.” _

“Oh Eli.” Demetri rubs his back gently. “I trust you, okay? I know you’re not that person anymore. I know that you’re good, and kind, and you love me. Okay?”

Eli nods into his shoulder, still crying a little.

“I love you,” Demetri whispers softly.

“I love you too,” Eli whimpers.

“Let’s go back to bed, okay?” Demetri leads his boyfriend out the door and back into his bedroom.

When they get back to the bed, it takes some coaxing before Eli will lie down. When he does, Demetri slides on his other side. They lie facing each other, and Demetri listens to Eli’s breathing.

Eventually, Eli places a hand on Demetri’s face and Demetri reaches up to cover it. 

“I’m okay,” he whispers softly.

Eli leans in and presses his lips lightly to Demetri’s. “I’m still sorry.”

Demetri kisses him again, trying desperately to reassure him. “I forgive you, okay? That part of our lives is over.” He puts his arms around Eli and closes his eyes. “Try to get some rest."

He feels Eli snuggle against him and press a kiss to his jaw. What Demetri now knows as love blooms in his chest.

“Goodnight, Eli,” he murmurs gently.


End file.
